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Your Farmville crops are old



 

 

Your Farmville crops are old.

How old are they? Old enough to be a member of the U.S. Senate.

Listen. With all due respect, it would be dishonest of me to state the Zuckerberg testimony was anything less than painful this week. It was like a songbird trying to communicate with a jellyfish. 

I respect all the members of Senate (kind of, OK, that’s kind of a lie), but what was that? What did I watch?

It was ridiculous on so many levels, Zuckerberg needed a booster seat. 

Seriously, he was sitting on an at least 3-inch cushion. 

Since I don’t know where to begin, let me just preface this with “I am only an observer. I am not making light (I’m kind of making light). I understand the seriousness.”

So, let’s get irreverent, shall we?

Members of Senate on Tuesday grilled Zuckerberg about the Cambridge Analytical data breach in which 87 million Facebook users information was shared.

It was a bit of a manure-storm. 

It seemed as though most had gained their knowledge of Facebook by either watching “The Social Network” or by just not doing any research at all — maybe asking their grandkids to brief them.

To say there was a generation gap is like saying the ocean is kind of deep. It was unreal how not on the same page anyone was. 

Zuckerberg had canned answers and he was obviously coached, but he also is the CEO of this gazillion-dollar company, so he knows what he’s talking about and schooled some members of Senate when questions were a bit ridiculous.

Ted Cruz turned the heat up, but it was a bit off topic, given why Zuckerberg was there. It was kind of a free-for-all by that point, though, so if left shark from Katy Perry’s Super Bowl performance showed up and started asking questions, I would have been unfazed. 

Their questions, although many very educated on privacy laws, so much of it was foreign to me, just seemed as though they had captured an alien and were trying to learn about their planet. 

And Zuckerberg was no less than alien or robotic in his answers. If you were playing a drinking game where you took a drink every time Zuck said, “Senator,” I hope you lived a good life because you have now died of alcohol poisoning.

Like a pair of good legs on a chimp, the world of Facebook coupled with members of the U.S. Senate was just odd all around and made no sense.

The juxtaposition of the two did make me realize two things clearly:

1. Term limits. My goodness. I know some of these older senators have earned their keep, but WOW. The amount they are out of touch with modern society and technology is immeasurable. Some of the questions read like a comedy skit. I think one senator even said “Facespace” at one point. 

2. Zuckerberg never, in his wildest dreams, imagined this would snowball into the monster it is today. Facebook has fed upon us all and has now grown into almost it’s own planet. It’s frightening to grasp how many people you can and may be connected with and how much of your personal information may be out there. 

I agree there needs to be more regulations, but how do you regulate a behemoth like Facebook and how do you stop Russia or anyone in the world from hacking.

There are always going to be new methods. There are always going to be cracks in which they can reach their grimy hands in and pull information. 

If nothing else, it was a testament to more divide in this country and that’s a scary thing. Whatever it was that once banded us together as Americans has officially snapped.

(Jenna Wasakoski is an assistant editor at The News-Item.)