Dear Abby: I have a long-distance friend I met online 10 years ago. I took pity on her because she was nearly destitute, and I have been helping her pay her bills. She’s visited me a number of times, and I care about her a lot. However, her constant requests for money are starting to make me uncomfortable. (She can’t work for health reasons, and there’s a major scarcity of social services or competent care in her Rust Belt locality.)

I do not want to continue enabling her. I have tried suggesting she move closer to her sister, seek better care, etc., but she doesn’t have the motivation. I have a hard time saying “no” to people. I got married recently, and I don’t want this situation to negatively affect my relationship with my wife.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips.

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