Dear Abby: I am in a 14-year marriage, but there has always been another woman, “Emily,” I have thought about almost daily the whole time. My wife and I have just turned 40. We have no kids, but we have a dog. I always thought I would want kids, and we tried half-heartedly, but there is no real intimacy to this day. I kiss her goodbye in the morning and, for years, that’s been it.
Emily is all in on a relationship with me still to this day. We had a great relationship with great sex and I miss all of that. I’m struggling about the right thing to do, partly because I know the pain this will cause.