Dear Abby: My grandma, who is in her 80s, had a stroke recently. She has trouble swallowing and speaking, so she’s in a rehab facility 20 miles from her home, where she is doing strengthening exercises. She tires out from just walking around her room, so it’s not yet clear if she will become a permanent resident or discharged with home health nurses. We are distraught over this.

My husband and I were originally planning to visit her this summer — our annual vacation — for a few days. She lives 12 hours from us. I was going to ask her if we were welcome, but she had the stroke before I could. I’d like to ask her if she’d mind if we still visit and, if it’s OK with her, stay in her house, so I can visit her at the facility if she hasn’t been discharged.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips.

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