There are days that I know I disappoint. Even though I attempt to avoid the negative, I still let down others and come up woefully short of my own expectations. I curse the fact that I am a “perfectionist.” I am not very judgmental of those around me, mind you, but my goals for myself are absolutely sky high. Lately, I can’t even gather enough chutzpah to make it to the ceiling of my living room! The things that I demand of myself at times are so unobtainable, I literally set myself up to fail long before the journey even starts. Can anyone else relate?
What causes us to buy the lie that we are in control of our own destiny? What deceives me to believe that I have more power to seize the day than I actually do? Positive thinking doesn’t always alter the landscape or reduce the sizes of the challenges smack dab there on my horizon. My type-A personality has turned out to become a huge failure grade on the report card of my heart. Hey, I once could have had front row tickets to see Frank Sinatra in concert, but my striving to be the best I could be got the best of me and I stayed back at the dorm and studied for the exam. Today, I can’t even remember what class the test was in. The door to see Ol’ Blue Eyes sing never came again. If I had to do it all over again, it wouldn’t even be an issue. I was just trying to prove that I was a good student and one who couldn’t be distracted by peripheral interruptions.